ChatLine
by Sorrel-Piedra
Summary: Okay, part one is over.Now that the chatters have found Yoh, find out who the MYSTERY CHATTER IS! New usernames and funniness!
1. The First Chat

**HI!!!! How are you guys out there? You're beautiful!!! **

**My first fanfic. Humor, humor, and more humor. This was recomended by my friends and family. This is chapter 1, and I shall post the other chapter's later! You are not obliged to review if you think this story is bad. Its basically the shamans on the chat line with their own username's, love life (Bailong and Jun) and are all wondering one thing: Where is Yoh? Of course there is more to this story than just: "Oh, Yoh, where are you?" There is also a funny romance between Bailong and Jun, my friend's died laughing when they read it. **

**I hope that you readers will enjoy this as much as I enjoyed it. Writing it was a pleasure. Peace out.**

**_Sorrel Piedra_**

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**Chat-ter 1**

_(Shorty-pants had logged on)_

Shorty-pants: Hello?

_(Iwuzmurdered and I-flirt-with-a-corpse are chatting)_

Iwuzmurdered: I love you.

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: No, I love you.

Iwuzmurdered: Whatever you say, honey cakes

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: After you, sugar flake

Short-pants: H-Hello?

Iwuzmurdered: Let's go down to the movie, Junny-kins. I'll scare everybody with my terrifyingly good looks and the cinema will be all for us…

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: Oh, you're bad, snookie-bear…

Shorty-pants: HELLO???!!!

Iwuzmurdered: Did you hear something, honey apron?

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: That was the sound of my heartbeat. It starts pounding so hard when I look into your dead, lifeless eyes…

Iwuzmurdered; But you can't see them, baby cakes. You're writing to me from somewhere else. But no matter how far you are, you're gorgeous puke-green hair will stay in my mind…

Shorty-pants: GUYS!!! PLEASE ANSWER ME!!!! PLEEEEEAAAASE!!!!"

Iwuzmurdered: Huh?

Shorty-pants: Finally! Oh, um, have you guys seen Yoh anywhere?

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: No, Manta, I haven't. Long time no see, huh?

Shorty-pants: Oh, well, yeah! How are you guys?

Iwuzmurdered: Can't complain.

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: Can't complain with you in my life, my purple-skinned zombie…

Iwuzmurdered: You make my heart expand, that is you would if it wasn't ripped out when you're family murdered me.

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: You muscular hunk, you…

Shorty-pants: (sweat dropped)

_(Crybaby Tam has logged on)_

Crybaby Tam: Oooh, um, h-hello?

Shorty-pants: Tamao! Finally!

Crybaby Tam: Waah! Who's there?

Shorty-pants: Me, Manta: Come on, Tam. So, have you seen Yoh?

Crybaby Tam: Yoh? I—um—(blushes) haven't, Manta. I think I last saw him with Anna.

Vicious Blonde: Nope, not with me, either.

_(Vicious Blonde had logged on before I could say so)_

Crybaby Tam and Shorty-pants: Yah!! How can you log on without anyone knowing?

Vicious Blonde: I have my secrets.

Shorty-pants: (whispers) that's news.

Vicious Blonde: What was that, Shorty?

Shorty-pants: Oh, nothing. Heh, heh, heh. (Sweat-drops)

_(Shorty-pants has logged off to hide)_


	2. Love Problems

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**Here's chapter 2 for my fans. Glad you guys so enjoyed the last chapter. Okay, this is when Bailong and Jun have a problem with love...(dead guys, you can never find any decent ones anymore)**

**I love writing this book. Hope you enjoy it! Peace out.**

_Sorrel Piedra_

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(Meanwhile)

Iwuzmurdered: Even though your more than 10 feet away from me, I can picture you're beautiful un-matching dress whenever I need to think about you.

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: _(screeching of breaks in the background)_ Hold on. Un-matching dress? _Un-matching dress_? I tolerated puke-green hair, and honey cakes, and even honey apron? But un-matching dress? I am disgusted.

Iwuzmurdered: Hold on a minute…Jun (spits). You called my eyes dead and lifeless; you called me a zombie and a—a—snookie bear!!! You think that _I'm_ insulting _you_. And for you're info, women, that dress does _not_ match.

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: Oh, yes it does.

Iwuzmurdered: No it doesn't. Since when does a dragon go with a stitched-up panda?

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: How dare you!! My mother gave me that dress!

Iwuzmurdered: And I would care because—

I-flirt-with-a-corpse: That's it, we're through!

_(I-flirt-with-a-corpse had logged off)_

_(Iwuzmurdered had logged off to go find her and apologize)_

Suddenly…

_(Chinese-hotty has logged on)_

Chinese-hotty: Has anyone seen Yoh?

(Manta and Tamao are too amazed by seeing Jun and Bailong break up they can't speak. Anna answers)

Vicious Blonde: Nice name, Ren. Did Jun change your user name again?

Chinese-hotty: (notices the user name) Argh! I told her to stay out of my business! Where is she?

Vicious Blonde: She just had a fight with the dead guy.

Chinese-hotty: You're serious?

Vicious Blonde: No, ask anyone.

Chinese-hotty: Manta, Tamao, is this true?

(Manta and Tamao still too stupefied)

Vicious Blonde: See.

Chinese-hotty: I always knew he was too old for her…

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence)

Shorty-pants: So, Ren, how goes the fan clubs?

Chinese-hotty: AWFUL!! I don't know why I go anymore.

Flashback:

_Ren jumped off the roof to escape the fangirls. Unfortunately, he landed on his face. Spits out a tooth._

_"Oh my gosh! It's his tooth. Grab it, grab it!!!!"_

_"Never mind his tooth. Take off his shirt. We'll see him topless!"_

_"Ah, so true!!!!"_

_Ren springs into action and runs to a supermarket. When he thinks he's alone…_

_(Speakers on) "Hello. Yes, I'm looking for a—"_

_A voice cut it off. A fan girl voice. "—Ren Tao!!!"_

_"Ahhhh"_

_Ren ran out of the supermarket. After weeks of hiding, he thought he had escaped. Angry fangirls jump him._

_"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!"_

End flashback:

Chinese-hotty: That—was the worst month of my life. I had marks from it to this very day.

Crybaby Tamao: Oh, Ren, did they hurt you?

Chinese-hotty: No, I mean lipstick marks. What do you girls wear these days?

_(Chinese-hotty logged off to change his user name. Crybaby Tam logged has logged off to go to the bathroom.)_


	3. More Chatting

_(Flames of Evil logs on)_

Flames of Evil: Has anyone seen Yoh?

Shorty-pants: Nope. (shakes head violently)

Flames of Evil: Do you know where he is?

Shorty-pants: Nah. The last Tamao saw him he was with Anna. But she's here now.

Flames of Evil: Anna's here?

(Panics. Takes a brief moment to comb his hair and look **pretty**. Returns)

Flames of Evil: So—Anna, heh, heh, how, uh, how are you?

Vicious Blonde: Not good. My husband-to-be is missing

Flames of Evil: (Cries anime style) Yoh always _did_ get the girls.

_(LoYaL—SlAvE has logged on)_

LoYaL—SlAvE: Has anyone seen my master?

(Silence)

Shorty-pants: Bason—is that you?

LoYaL—SlAvE: Um—yeah.

Shorty-pants: I never knew you had a username.

LoYaL—SlAvE: My master—his idea. This 'technology' of your dynasty is fascinating!

Shorty-pants: I still can't believe a ghost has a user name!

LoYaL—SlAvE: It doesn't matter. Have you seen my master? I have to know if angry fan girls jump him. He seemed to be eying one a few days ago.

_(Ainu pig has logged on)_

Ainu pig: Hey, everybody, what's new?

Flames of evil: Not much.

Vicious Blonde: Nothing.

Shorty-pants: Ren likes a girl! (squeals like a little girl)

Ainu pig: No way! Out with it, dude!

Shorty-pants: Yeah, come on, Bason. Who's the lucky girl?

LoYaL—SlAvE: Well, a girl saved him the other day from the angry mob of boys who were mad at him for steeling their ladies. Which Ren didn't but—you know how males are.

Ainu pig: Go on.

LoYaL—SlAvE: Well, she pulled him away just in time. Then they talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, until finally Ren asked for her number. Is it true that you humans have numbers on you these days? Because hers was 09/768564&9945362.

Shorty-pants: No, Bason. A _telephone_ number. That's what he asked for.

Ainu pig: Get out of here! (Chanting)Ren likes a gi-irl! Ren likes a gi-irl…

Flames of Evil: Shut it, Horo. You know full well that Ren disapproves of being teased. Only I'm allowed to do that…

(Vicious Blonde logs off to watch soap opera on TV. Flames of Evil logs off to watch her watching soap operas on TV)

Ainu pig: So what's the lucky girl's name?

LoYaL—SlAvE: I believe her name was—Yin-Ko...(trails off)

* * *

_(Iwuzmurdered and I-used-to-flirt-with-a-corpse are talking it over)_

Iwuzmurdered: You changed your username, Jun? You're _that_ mad at me?

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Yes, Bailong, I did change my username. It says the truth. That I _used_ to flirt with some dead guy.

Iwuzmurdered: You—didn't just say that. (Shocked)

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: yes, I do mean it, you insulted my dress!

Iwuzmurdered: I—can't believe it. You referred to me as—as—some dead guy!!!!

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: I did and I'm proud of it.

Iwuzmurdered: You—sick woman.

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Now don't you go talking to me like that. Before I fell in love with you—you were my slave. Now bow down!!!

Iwuzmurdered: Make me, you puke-green, large-boobed, un-matching dress wearing looser!

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: THAT'S IT! GO BACK TO THE AFTERLIFE!!!!

Iwuzmurdered: (go back to the afterlife is an incredibly insulting thing to say to a ghost or dead dude) I'll never speak to you again. WAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!! (cries)

_(Iwuzmurdered has logged off to lock himself in a dark chamber and never come out. I-used-to-flirt-with-a-corpse has logged off to go rub it in)_


	4. Randomness

**Note from editor's lawyer, PearlaH.Sweden: Sorrel is currently unavailable and asked me to post for her! Yay!!! XP**

**Also, she thanks all who reviewed! I was watching: I can't tell you how happy she was! XP You make her HAPPY!!! (sings the Hallelujah chorus) Glad thatz over.**

**Also: please read the italisized words. I know some people skip 'em but they're really funny here!!! XP**

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Later…

Ainu pig: Hey, is anyone there?

(Silence)

Ainu pig: Hey?

(More silence)

(Even more silence)

Ainu pig: I guess I'll chat with myself: Hey Horo, how are you?

Ainu pig: I'm fine, and yourself?

Ainu pig: Just fine. Heh, this is fun.

Ainu pig: So, did you jog off that belly fat yet?

Ainu pig: Nah, I like my plump self

Ainu pig: Typical from a moron like you.

Ainu pig: What d'you call me?!!!

Ainu pig: You heard me.

Ainu pig: Well you have blue hair!

Ainu pig: Your one to talk, big butt!

_(Ainu-pig sister has logged on)_

Ainu-pig's sister: Hey, big bro.

Ainu pig: Help, Pirika. I'm insulting me!

Ainu pig's sister: Riiiiiight…

Ainu pig: Help Pirika, heeeelp!

Ainu pig's sister: Okay, fine. (sighs in sheer defeat) Stop it Horo or I'll have you work for Anna for two months and feed you on whale blubber!

(Silence)

Ainu pig: Hey, you scared me off. Cool.

Ainu pig's sister: (sweat-drops) N-no problem.

Ainu pig: Have you seen Yoh?

_(Vicious Blonde has logged on. Flames of Evil has logged on. Shorty-pants has logged on. Samurai's R cool has logged on. LoYaL—SlAvE has logged on. Crybaby Tam has logged on)_

All: Have you seen Yoh?

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence)

All: You too? Where's Yoh?

Samurai's R cool: Have you seen Master Yoh, Bason?

LoYaL—SlAvE: No Amidamaru. I too am currently looking for Master Ren. Has anyone seen him?

_(Suddenly I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged on)_

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Has anyone seen Yoh?

LoYaL—SlAvE: M-master! (cries amine style)

Ainu pig's sister: REN-KUN!!!! How are you? I see you changed you're username.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Hey, Pirika, I'm well. And you?

Ainu pig's sister: Splendid. I missed you, Ren-kun.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: I—uh—missed you to.

Vicious Blonde: If you guys are done flirting, I want to declare a search party for Yoh.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: _F-Flirting_?! (blushes like crazy) That's ridiculous!

Ainu pig: Yeah and anyway, Bason told us about that Yin-Ko girl that you asked for her number! Ha!

(Pirika is silent. Everyone cannot believe Horo)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Bason, you shall pay dearly.

Ainu pig's sister: WAAH! I HATE YOU, REN-KUN!!!

_(Ainu pig's sister has logged off to cry and throw darts at a picture of Ren she keeps on the wall. I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged off to try and explain to her what had happened.)_

_(Ainu pig logs off to see if he can ruin Ren's chances of getting Pirika to forgive him. Vicious Blonde logs off to look for Yoh.)_

_(LoYaL—SlAvE has logged off to go stop Horo. Flames of Evil, Crybaby Tam, Shorty-pants and Samurai's R cool stay.)_

Crybaby Tam: I miss Yoh!!!

Flames of Evil: Argh! Even pinkie here likes him!!! I thought with the long hair and cool gloves and _incredibly_ impressive biceps, if I do say so myself, I could get girls to like me. But nooooo….

Shorty-pants: Don't beat yourself up, Hao. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Samurai's R cool: Why must we discuss the issues of getting a female to notice you?! Let's look for Yoh-dono! (acts dramatic, holds sword to heart.)

All: (Sweat-drop)

_(Flames of Evil has logged off to spy on Anna. Crybaby Tam has logged off to find out if he's actually doing that.)_

_(Samurai's R cool has logged off to search for Yoh. Shorty-pants logs off because there is no one left to talk to)_


	5. Remember When

**I apologize for this chapter being so long. :( I know how most of you hate long chapters. But I tried my best to minimize it. I thought it was good, though. Thanks, by the way, to all my reviewers. You guys are the greatest. I havemn';t gotten a single bad review. You guys rock. I'll make a ChatLine 2 for you guys.**

_Sorrel Piedra_

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_(I-used-to-flirt-with-a-corpse has logged on)_

_(I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged on)_

Both: What're you doing here?

(Silence)

Both: sigh

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Bason mouthed off that I asked Yin-Ko for her number.

I-used-to-play-with-a-corpse: So I've heard. But you and Pirika go so much better together…

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: (blushing) we do not!!! I don't even like her!!!!

I-_used_-to-play-with-Kwan Dao's: yes, you do. Remember when Mother locked you up in your room for bad behavior, and she put extra chains on the wall so you wouldn't get out, and then Horo took advantage of that and started teasing you on the other side because he knew you couldn't get him. And then Pirika came along and gave him a skull fracture and an internally bruised arm, and he had to stay in the hospital for weeks because it turned out that she has also broken his left leg…

(Silence.)

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Ren?

(More silence)

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Lian?

(Even more silence)

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Little brother?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Ah, the good old days.

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Hey, remember when Yuan was still our uncle and we were under his rule, barely able to enjoy life, always under constant pressure, always—

I/ play/with/Kwan Dao's: I get the idea (hates the subject) Hey, remember when Bailong nearly killed you after Yoh freed him fro being you're constant slave?

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Hmph, I liked him better as a slave (grumpy).

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: By the way, what happened between you two? I thought you were the perfect, annoying, perky, irritating, lovey-dovey, gushy-ewie couple.

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Well, he said something to me that changed everything that time (acts suspicious and mysterious)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: What?

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: It was so awful; I was forced to leave him…

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: What (curiosity rising)

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: He…

I/play with/Kwan Dao's: Yes?

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: He…

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Yeees…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: He…

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: (unable to bear the suspense) YES! YES! WHADDE DO????

I-used-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: HE INSULTED MY DRESS!!!!!

(Silence. More Silence. Even more silence)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: (Dooooooom--) that's—it. That's it? THAT'S IT???!!! You dumped the guy of your dreams because he INSULTED YOUER STUPID DRESS???!!!

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: yes! Isn't it so very awful?

_(I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged off to stare at the wall and wonder why he was cursed with such an odd sibling)_

(Shorty-pants logs on)

Shorty-pants: Hey, Jun.

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Why, hello Manta. What's up?

Shorty-pants: Not much.

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Hey, remember when I was still evil when I showed up in front of the movie theatre after you were watching a Bailong movie and you started crying like you were two?

Shorty-pants: Well, I guess… (Miserable). Hey! Remember when Ren talked about you behind your back that you were desperate to get a boy friend that you were flirting with your spirit ally?

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: He did _what_????

Shorty-pants: Oh, nothing. Heh, heh, heh (sweat drops)

_(Flames of Evil has logged on. LoYaL—SlAvE has logged on. Samurai's R cool has logged on)_

Flames of Evil: What're you guys doing'?

Shorty-pants: Remembering…

Flames of Evil: Hey, remember the time I almost killed you guys?

Samurai's R cool: Yes, and then Yoh managed to kick your sorry behind…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Remember the time I dumped Bailong?

Shorty-pants: You mean like yesterday?

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Well, yeah…

Flames of Evil: I can't blame you; the guy has purple skin, for Pete's sake. And those stitches. And that hair…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: And those clothes…and those ugly lifeless eyes…

Flames of Evil: (light bulb on top of head) you know, baby, you're not my type and all, but, heh, if you want a guy, I'm available…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: It's not like you don't have anything wrong with you! That long hair has got to go…

Samurai's R cool: Remember that time Yoh broke my sword?

Shorty-pants: Yeah, and you were moping for a week.

Samurai's R cool: I was not (embarrassed)

Shorty-pants: Remember the time I accidentally ate all of Horo's food?

Flames of Evil: And he couldn't stop yelling at you and because of that, for three days you became deaf.

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: remember that time I wore baggy jeans and a T-shirt to the Shaman King announcement.

Flames of Evil: (whispering) Ren was hiding…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: excuse me?

Flames of Evil: Nothing. Nothing, heh, its nothing.

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: didn't I look fabulous?

Shorty-pants: yeah, um, you looked great. (Whispering so Jun couldn't hear) We all hid in embarrassment.

Samurai's R cool: You looked strange, Jun…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: (evil glare)

Samurai's R cool: But—but strange is good!! (Sweat-drop) Remember that day Yoh got sick?

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Yes, poor Yoh, Anna gave him such a hard time.

Shorty-pants: she sure did (shuddered at the thought)

Flames of Evil: I've never seen anyone treat Yoh that harshly. (Grins) Oh, she is so hot…

Shorty-pants: She doesn't even like you, Hao.

Flames of Evil: Rub it in, why don't ya? (Crying anime style)

Samurai's R cool: Remember that time I ate ice cream?

Shorty-pants: remember the time I fell on the street?

Flames of Evil: Remember that time I killed those people form Patch village?

LoYaL—SlAvE: REMEMBER THE TIME I PAINTED MY NAILS???!!!!

(All: silent)

LoYaL—SlAvE: Hello?

(Silence)

LoYaL—SlAvE: Helloooooooo?

(More silence)

LoYaL—SlAvE: Guys it was a joke.

Samurai's R cool: Yes, um, heh, heh, very funny, Bason. (Disturbed at the thought)

Shorty-pants: Yeah, great. Heh. (Incredibly disturbed)

Flames of Evil: I—think I'm gonna log off now.

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Yeah, me too.

_(Log off quickly)_

LoYaL—SlAvE: sigh


	6. End of Part 1: Love Resolved! YAY!

**I have a request for all my reviewers: Its important. **

**Should I just finish here and make a ChatLine 2 or should I just go on and make this story long and never-ending? Please tell me what to do, I need to know what you guys want. I seriously need to be told in the next reviews you guys give me. **

_Sorrel Piedra_

* * *

_Ainu pig's sister has logged on_

Ainu pig's sister: and—and—and his stupid ghost said that he—sniff--that he—sob--LIKED another girl!!!

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-corpse: You should hear Bailong. It's pathetic. He pretends he's so mad but he truthfully is desperate to get me back. I hate desperate dead men—they're so—so—not alive.

Ainu pig's sister: (Wailing) BUT I LIKE REN AND HE DOESN'T LIKE ME!!! WAAAAHHHAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Pitiful. Men think they're all that but instead they're full of dirt and decaying matter and grossness. You can never find a decent guy these days.

Ainu pig's sister: I can't believe Ren likes another girl… (Heating up) what a bugger… (Gets hot)…and you know what her name is? (Burning up) (In babyish voice to make it sound perky and annoying) Yin-Ko!! Like you can't get any lamer. What a stupid (annoyed), pathetic (getting mad), pitiful (on fire) _babyish name_!!!!

I-used-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Calm down, Pirika. It can't be that bad. Oh, wait, yes it can…

Both: WAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

_(I/play/with/Kwan Dao's had logged on. Iwuzmurdered has logged on)_

All: What're you doing here...Waah…Hmph…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Let's go, Pirika. We obviously don't want to stay with (sigh) lesser beings.

Iwuzmurdered: No wait, Jun!

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: What?

Iwuzmurdered: I'M SORRY, JUN!!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!! THE TRUTH IS, I _AM_ SOME DEAD GUY WITH PURPLE SKIN AND STITCHES!! BUT I DON'T CARE!! PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!!! PLEEEEAAAASEEE!!!

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: You—you'd actually admit that, for me? (Touched)

Iwuzmurdered: YES!!! YOUR DRESS _IS_ MATCHING, THE BEST MATCH I'VE EVER SEEN!!!

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Oh, you naughty boy…

Iwuzmurdered: You're telling me, huggle-puss…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Right back at you, sugar cube…

Iwuzmurdered: I love you…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: No, I love you…

Iwuzmurdered: O' contraire, my love…

I-_used_-to-flirt-with-a-corpse: Let's go, baby cakes…

Iwuzmurdered: Yes, lets…

_(Both log off to stare into each others eyes and complement each other for the next 3 days)_

Ainu pig's sister: Well, humph, I'm gonna go now…

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: No, wait—Pirika!!!

Ainu pig's sister: I'm not talking to you!!!! Go out with your girlfriend, Yin-Ko, waaaahahahaha!!!!

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: I only asked for her number… (Sulks)

Ainu pig's sister: That means you like her!!!! TT

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: No it doesn't!! I just wanted to thank her!!!

Ainu pig's sister: Yeah? FOR WHAT!!!??

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: She saved me from a mob of angry bys who were gonna beat me up for 'stealing their girls', which is preposterous, because—

Ainu pig's sister: So you don't like Yin-Ko?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: I do _like_ Yin-Ko, but only cause she saved my butt. You'd have done the same for me.

Ainu pig's sister: (Back to her gleeful self) Soooo, you wanna go get some burgers or something?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: I don't eat fast-food.

Ainu pig's sister: Okay, Chinese?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: That's exactly what I was thinking.

Ainu pig's sister: Egg rolls?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Read my mind…

_(Log off)_

Later:

Everyone: Hi, guys.

_(Suddenly: Shaman King has logged on)_

Shaman King: Hey guys…

Shorty-pants: Hey, Yoh.

Vicious Blonde: Hi.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Whatever…

Ainu pig: S'up, dude?

Ainu pig's sister: Hiya…

Crybaby Tam: Oh, um—h—hello, Yoh.

Flames of Evil: Yo.

LoYaL—SlAvE: Greetings, Yoh.

Samurai's R cool: Master Yoh…

I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse: (changed username) Yoh, always a pleasure…

Iwuzmurdered: Aloha.

(Silence. More Silence. Even more silence.)

All: YOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *


	7. Start of Part 2: To Die or Not to Die

**Dear reviewers,**

**Sorry for the long wait. School just finished for me and I wanted to do so much for the summer: swim, sleepover, play with friends, etc...**

**This is the beggining of Part Two. Its about a mysterious chatter that no one knows about or who she/he is!!! For the first two chapters, however (this being the first of the two) it is not about that.**

**I know this isn't the right way to spell Hannah. But I've read books where its spelled Hana, Hanna, or Hannah. Its confusing.**

**Oh, and I made a promise to one guy that I'd change Manta's username. Any suggestions?**

_Sorrel Piedra_

* * *

_(Vicious Blonde has logged on. H-a-n-n-a-h has logged on)_

Vicious Blonde: Hannah!!! What in heavens name is going on?!!!

H-a-n-n-a-h: What?

Vicious Blonde: Since when did you get a username? You're too young to be chatting.

H-a-n-n-a-h: I am?

Vicious Blonde: Of course you are!!! You're 6 years old!!!!

H-a-n-n-a-h: But—but (eyes watery) but I wanted to see you, Mommy!!!!

Vicious Blonde: (silent) you—did?

H-a-n-n-a-h: Yeah! And I also wanted to see Daddy and Uncle Manta and Uncle Ren and Auntie Tamao and—

Vicious Blonde: Okay, okay! But who got you a username anyway?

H-a-n-n-a-h: Grandpa Yohmei

Vicious Blonde: (murderous glare) Where is the old hag?

H-a-n-n-a-h: (shakes head violently) He made me promise not to tell!

Vicious Blonde: Son, out with it.

H-a-n-n-a-h: Why?

Vicious Blonde: Because _he_ promised _me_ not to get you involved with computers until you were at least 11!

H-a-n-n-a-h: (wondering) Ooooooh, so that's why he hid in the closet….

Vicious Blonde: Bingo!

H-a-n-n-a-h: (hand over mouth) Oh golly!! I broke my promise!!!! Wahhhaaa!!!

Vicious Blonde: (knowing that her son is crying) Fine (grumble) I won't kill him—this time.

H-a-n-n-a-h: You won't? Yay, Mommy!!!

Vicious Blonde: I'm going upstairs to cook.

H-a-n-n-a-h: What? (Whimpers) Mommy—your—your not gonna _leave_, are you?

Vicious Blonde: To go make dinner, yes.

H-a-n-n-a-h: Don't leave, Mommy.

Vicious Blonde: (absentmindedly thinking about chores) and then I have to sharpen the knives, oh, and then I have to go see a ghost, and then—

H-a-n-n-a-h: Go _be_ a ghost???!!!!

Vicious Blonde: No, Hannah! Go _see_ a ghost. (Thinks again) A miserable ghost that needs a shaman, then I have to go put that baby to sleep… Man, will I be happy when this is over… _(Sigh) (Logs off)_

H-a-n-n-a-h: Mommy?

(Silence)

H-a-n-n-a-h: Mommy...

(Even more silence)

H-a-n-n-a-h: MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

_(Starts crying as Shaman King logs on)_

Shaman King: Son! What's wrong? Where's Anna?

H-a-n-n-a-h: She went—(sobs) up there!!!

Shaman King: W—w—what?

H-a-n-n-a-h: Mommy went up there to sharpen the knives and see a ghost!!!!

Shaman King: To _be_ a ghost???!!!

H-a-n-n-a-h: She said he wanted it to be over, and the ghost she was to see was miserable! _(Whimper)_

Shaman King: _(hears the 'see' to be a 'be', so what Hannah just said in his ears was: the ghost she was to be was miserable!)_ EXCUSE ME????!!!!!!

H-a-n-n-a-h: (nods head) and she went to sleep—the babies—

Shaman King: SHE WENT TO SLEEP???!!!!

H-a-n-n-a-h: _(blinks)_ Yeah, the babies to sleep…

Shaman King: _(ignores son)_ this is—horrible.

_(Flames of Evil has logged on. I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged on)_

Flames of Evil: What's up, Yoh?

Shaman King: ANNA'S DEAD!!!!

Flames of Evil & I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: **WHAT?!!!!!?**

Shaman King: Yeah, she wanted it to be over, and the knives, and she went to sleep…upstairs!!!!

Flames of Evil: OH…MY #$$&& (swears at the top of lungs)  
I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO FOOL US, ARE YOU???!!!

Shaman King: No! Hannah told me, right son?

H-a-n-n-a-h: Um, I don't know if she's dead….

Shaman King: See? The poor boy can barely take it!!

_(Ainu pig's sister has logged on. Ainu pig has logged on. Crybaby Tam has logged on. Shorty-pants has logged on)_

Shorty-pants: Hey guys, what's happening?

Flames of Evil: ANNA'S DEAD!!!!

All: _**WHAT???!!!**_

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Unfortunately, I think it's true. Hannah told us, didn't you, boy?

H-a-n-n-a-h: Uh…..

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: See?

Ainu pig: Wahoo!!! No more dishes. We can party all night long!!!!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence)

Ainu pig: Uh, guys?

Shorty-pants: Wow, now that she's really gone, it feels, strange…

Crybaby Tam: yeah, all those times we wished she'd just disappear…

Ainu pig's sister: (crying at the top of her lungs) I FEEL GUILTY NOW!!!!!!

Flames of Evil: I always thought she was hot… (Cries anime style)

Shaman King: What?

Flames of Evil: Nothing.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Moron…

H-a-n-n-a-h: Uh, guys…

_(Suddenly, Vicious Blonde has logged on)_

All: (Stare)

Vicious Blonde: Has anyone seen that old geezer, Yohmei?

All: (Stare)

Vicious Blonde: Hello?

All: (Stare)

Vicious Blonde: What's going on here?

Ainu pig: ITS HER GHOST!!!!!!!!

Ainu pig's sister: Run for it!!!

Vicious Blonde: What on Earth—

Shaman King: Now, Anna. Remember me. I—I know you decided to go—(gulp)—to the big shaman empire in the sky, but in case you don't remember, we were married…

Vicious Blonde: Yoh, I don't—

Shaman King: You remember my name!!!!!

Vicious Blonde: Of course, Yoh. What, do you think I'm dead or something?

All: (silent)

Shaman King: (whispers) she doesn't know she's a ghost yet…

Vicious Blonde: What was that?

All: NOTHING!!!!!

Shaman King: Honey, it's hard for me to tell you this, but…

Crybaby Tam: No, Yoh, don't!!!

Shaman King: It's for her own good!

Vicious Blonde: _What's_ for my own good?

Shorty-pants: No, stop!

Shaman King: I am sorry to say that you…

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Yoh, do you know what you're about to do?

Shaman King: …are…

Flames of Evil: Someone stop him!

Shaman King: …dead…

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence)

Vicious Blonde: _**WHAT???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

All: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

(Suddenly, Hannah jumps in to save the day!)

H-a-n-n-a-h: Wait, Mommy!!! Its—its my fault! (Begins to cry) I told them what you told me but it was screwed up so they thought you were dead with the knives and the going to sleep and I tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen to me, and—

Vicious Blonde: Everyone, get off the internet. NOW!!!! Except you Yoh, and you, Hannah.

_(All obediently do as told and log off)_

Vicious Blonde: Yoh, you're an idiot.

Shaman King: But, Hannah—

Vicious Blonde: Blame it on your son why don't 'cha?

Shaman King: No, but—

Vicious Blonde: In the yard. NOW!!! And give me a trillion push ups, 999 sit-ups and a whole hour on the 'Electric Chair'.

Shaman King: (gloom)

_(Logs off to begin his training)_

Vicious Blonde: Now, Hannah. Lets go make you some supper.

H-a-n-n-a-h: Yay, Mommy!

(Log off)


	8. Enter Mystery Chatter! duhduhduh

**Dear everyone,**

**I'm so very, deeply, greatly, exrushiatingly, terribly, honestly, really very sorry for this presposterously long wait. At first, I was kinda upset I didn't get very good reviews for the Hana chapter, so I thought I lost my touch and went on 'vacation' from writing for a little bit. But then I just kept on delaying and delaying, and I apologize, its my own fault. I'm, (sniff), a bad authoress to you guys. Only a truly horrible girl would keep her reviewers waiting so long for the next chapter! I don't blame you guys if you even forgot this fanfic existed! I'm sorry if you woke up every morning and ran to the computer to check if I had updated, even a little, and that your hopes were chattered. Believe me, I know that feeling.**

**So, eher's the next chapter, and I promise you gusy the long wait won't ever happen again! **

**Okay, now with the story, you can guess all you want, but you will enevr know who the mystery chatter is. Muahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Even if you ever guess it right, I'll say no. Just so not to ruin the surprize!**

**I made Yoh especially dumb in this chapter, enjoy! **

**Note: If you're mad at me and don't want to review, I'll understand perfectly.**

_Sorrel Piedra_

* * *

(I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse and Iwuzmurdered are chatting

Iwuzmurdered: ….and then our kids will be called Juny B., Bailong J., and finally Junlong…

I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse: And don't forget our dog, Baijun…

Both: (sigh lovingly)

_(I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged on. Ainu pig's sister has logged on)_

Ainu pig's sister: Hi guys!

I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse & Iwuzmurdered: (Sigh lovingly again)

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Ainu pig's sister: (whisper) Look, Ren, they're in love!! (Squeals with happiness)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: I know…

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: …disgusting isn't it?

Ainu pig's sister: Ren!!

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: What?! It _is_ sickening? The way they talk to each other sends shivers down my spine, the way they look at each other forces me to throw up what food I have consumed that day—leaving my stomach empty, and that they even had the _nerve_ to do both those things in public haunts me each day! He's _**dead**_, what part of that can't she understand?!

Ainu pig's sister: But Ren, (acts dramatic) they love each other…what _is_ there to understand??!!

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: (sigh)

_(Shaman King has logged on)_

Shaman King: Hi, guys.

Ainu pig's sister: Yoh!

Shaman King: What's going on?

Ainu pig's sister: (whisper again) Jun and Bailong are in love!

Shaman King: No way!

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: What do you mean by "No way"? They've been in love for ages! Before we defeated Hao, before you and I became friends…

Shaman King: Shhhh, do you _mind_, Ren, I'm _trying_ to hear what they're saying.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: EAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Screams in fury)

(_I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged off to bang his head on the wall in sheer misery and shame of having such daft comrades)_

_(Suddenly: MysteryChatter4-ever has logged on)_

MysteryChatter4-ever: Greetings, everyone.

Ainu pig's sister and Shaman King: Hi... (Absentminded)

MysteryChatter4-ever: So, what're you doin'?

Shaman King: We're trying to hear Jun and Bailong speak mushy to each other. Haven't you heard…(whisper)…they're _in love_!

MysteryChatter4-ever: No!

Ainu pig's sister: Yes, we just found out!

MysteryChatter4-ever: But—haven't they been dating since Bailong was no longer forced to work under her evil thumb being verbally accused every day of his afterlife as a slave puppet?

Shaman King and Ainu pig's sister...mmm… (Pay no attention whatsoever)

_(Vicious Blonde has logged on. Flames of Evil has logged on)_

Flames of Evil: Anna, I'm still so happy you're alive!

Vicious Blonde: I never _died_, moron… (Sigh)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Oh, yes, I heard about that terrible incident! Boys are _so_ daft, aren't they?

Vicious Blonde: Yes, they are.

MysteryChatter4-ever: I can't believe they thought you were dead! Good gracious, I've never heard of a mistake that big!

Vicious Blonde: yeah, well, it's Yoh's fault, and get this, he blamed it on his _**own son**_.

MysteryChatter4-ever: No!

Vicious Blonde: Yes!

MysteryChatter4-ever: Men are worthless, I'm _never_ getting married…

Vicious Blonde: You go—girl? Wait, stop…

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Vicious Blonde: Hao, Pirika, Yoh, front and center!

_(All quickly line up in alphabetical order. Army music in the background)_

All: Sir yes sir!

(Silence. more silence. Even more silence.)

All: (Realize mistake) Ma'am yes ma'am!

Vicious Blonde: Who is this MysteryChatter4-ever person?

MysteryChatter4-ever: (sing-song voice) I can't tell you, I can't tell you…

Vicious Blonde: And why not?

MysteryChatter4-ever: Isn't it obvious?

Vicious Blonde: No.

MysteryChatter4-ever: (signals to come closer) because I'm a _mystery_ chatter…No one can know who I am!

_(MysteryChatter4-ever logs off because she wants to leave her last words mysterious and dramatic)_

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Vicious Blonde: Who was that, anyway?!

_(Vicious Blonde has logged off to write down a list of suspects for who the chatter could be. Flames of Evil has logged off to go see if he could try and help. Heh. Sure, like that's gonna happen. Ainu pig's sister has logged off to go make lunch for her brother, who's so pathetic he can't even cook for himself. Shaman King has logged off to go do the same for Hana.)_

Iwuzmurdered and I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse: ...sigh…


	9. Opposite Virus: Funniest Chappie Ever!

**Hi everyone, thanks again for reviewing. I understand this chapter was a littl late, but not as late as the last one:) I consider it the funniest one yet. It was such a pleasure writing this and I hope everyone enjoys it.**

**_Sorrel Piedra_**

* * *

_(Iwuzmurdered has logged on. I-**still**__-flirt-with-a-corpse has logged on. Vicious Blonde has logged on. I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged on. Shaman king has logged on. LoYaL—SlAvE has logged on. Samurai's R cool has logged on. Crybaby Tam has logged on. Shorty-pants has logged on. Flames of Evil has logged on. Ainu pig has logged on.)_

Ainu pig's sister: Oh good, you're all here. I have something urgent to tell you guys!

_(REPORTER has logged on)_

Ainu pig's sister: Listen to this!

REPORTER: Attention, a new virus has been reported near Patch village. It causes humans to turn into completely opposite people. It arrives today at 3:30. It will stay for several minutes to 3 hours. How do you know if you have it you say? Well, you'll no longer act yourself, duh! And your hair will turn a sickly greenish color. That's it for now.

Ainu pig's sister: What're we gonna do?!

REPORTER: The only cure for this virus is a series of unusually painful injections in your bellybutton. This has been your reporter, signing off._ (Logs off)_

Ainu pig's sister: Great, I'll go get the needles!_ (Logs off)_

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Shaman King: I DON'T WANNA HAVE INJECTIONS IN MY BELLYBUTTON!!!!

Flames of Evil: Me neither. Especially unusually painful injections. (Shudders)

Iwuzmurdered: Oh my gosh, Jun, you have green hair!

I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse: Well—duh!

Iwuzmurdered: You have the disease! We gotta get you to a doctor, and fast!

I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse: Bailong, my hair's always been green!

(As they argue…)

Vicious Blonde: Its 3:30! The virus will strike at—(stops. Suddenly beams happily) I LIKE PUPPIES AND THE COLOR PINK!!!

Shaman King: It got Anna! The Opposite virus got Anna!

Ainu pig: Run for you're liv—(stops) According to my calculations, if you divide 3.5 million by the square root of 68, you will indeed get 6.778 by the square route of 12 million….

Crybaby Tam: It got Horo! He's _smart_! (gasps)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Heh. First time for everything. Hey, my hair's turning green! (suddenly) Wahahaha!!! (Cries at top of lungs) B-ba-son, g-get-me—sniff-a-a-tissue!

LoYaL—SlAvE: (glares) Ya got legs, don't 'cha?!!!

Shaman King: Oh no! The disease made Ren cry and Bason is—_disobedient_!!!

Vicious Blonde: Its okay, Ren. (Comforts the Chinese boy) Maybe if we share our feelings, everything will be better!

Shorty-pants: This is sick!!! (shudders)

Shaman King: Manta, what do we do??!! You're the smart one!

Shorty-pants: Wait, I know! We have to (stops)—duuuuuuhhhhh (dumb) I like cherry flavored tuna!!!

Flames of Evil: Manta!!! Oh no, Yoh, what're we gonna do?!

Shaman King: I don't know! Tamao, are you okay?

Tamao: Yeah, I like you Yoh!!! (Grins evilly) I HATE YOUR STUPID FIANCE AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU! Oh, I'm burning with self-confidence!

Shaman King: Tamao—_**noo!!!**_

(And worse still...)

Iwuzmurdered:** I hate you!**

I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse: **No, I hate you!!!**

Iwuzmurdered: **I despise you!**

I-_**still**_-flirt-with-a-corpse: **I abhor you…**

Shaman king: Hao—what're we gonna do?!

Flames of Evil: I don't know, Yoh! Wh-where's Amidamaru?!

Samurai's R cool: I'm here, I-I'll go get Pirika!_ (logs off frantically)_

Shaman King: It's just us now. Hao, even though I kicked your evil butt some time ago, you're still my brother, and I'm sorry! We'll stay together until the end…right bro. Bro?

**Waves of Peace**: (notice the changed username) I love humans. Peace on earth, my brother. Let us all join hands to create a society of joy and harmony…

Shaman King: Hao, no, no, no!!!! HAO!!!!!!!! This is it. I'm—the only one left. C'mon Amidamaru, where are you? (looks around. Hears other friends)

Vicious Blonde: (goes up to Hao) I'm totally into happiness, too. Help me bring joy to my friend, Ren. He can't stop crying.

Shaman King: No…

Tamao: I've never felt so confident! I'm gonna go get more revealing clothes and tell the whole world pink-hair rules!!!! (electric guitar)

Shaman King: This—can't be happening.

Ainu pig: If you multiply three quarters of a billion and then add 78, you'll end up with the same number as 56-0.9…

Shaman King: I'm having a nightmare, yeah! That's it, just a boring old nightmare that's—

Shorty-pants: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh….

Shaman King: (begins to sweat) gulp—that's really scary and—

Iwuzmurdered:** I loathe you…**

I-_**still**_-flirt-with-corpse: **I loathe you more…**

Shaman King:---incredibly disturbing…

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Bason—sniff—gimme a hug!

LoYaL—SlAvE: Oh, go shove you're head down a toilet!

Shaman King: AHHHHH!!! (Stops. Looks at Anna.)

Vicious Blonde: (holds Yoh's hand) Go buy me clothes, boyfriend! Then we can express true love to one another while staring into each other's eyes!

Shaman King: (suddenly)What're you doing here, toots? You should be in the kitchen cooking—that's where women belong!

(Me: Yes, it's true, folks. Yoh—has the virus. He's now a sexist pig!)

_(Suddenly: MysteryChatter4-ever has logged on)_

MysteryChatter4-ever: (realizes what's going on) Oh no, everyone's infected with the Opposite virus. And if Pirika and Amidamaru aren't here yet, that must mean the virus got them, too! I gotta save the day! (goes and gets needles full of orange liquid) Needles—away!

**Note:** _**The following scenes have been erased due to the violence and suffering the characters went through the moment the painful injections touched their bellybuttons. We will skip ahead to when their all in their separate homes, in bed.**_

MysteryChatter4-ever: So—how's everyone doing?

Ainu pig's sister: What happened? (drowsy)

MysterChatter4-ever: You were infected by the Opposite virus. It caused Anna to go nice and sweet, Ren to turn into a big crybaby, Tamao to have confidence, Bason to be disobedient, Manta to be dumb and Horo to be smart, Yoh to turn into a mean sexist pig and Jun and Bailong to hate each other.

LoYaL—SlAvE: (Cries anime style) Master, forgive my rudeness towards you, I had no way of stopping myself.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: I'll forgive you—as long as you promise not to tell anyone about my MINOR crying problems…(grunts)

LoYaL—SlAvE: Of course, Master…

Vicious Blonde: Hey…(realizes something) Hey Mystery Chatter. How come you didn't get the virus?

MysteryChatter4-ever: (Chuckles and sighs) You people are so daft at times. No matter. See, the Opposite virus changes the way a person acts, right?

Vicious Blonde: Go on…

MysterChatter4-ever: Well, since no one on earth knows who I am, they don't know how I act, so of course it couldn't affect me. You silly humans…(laughs and logs off)

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Suddenly TV turns on:

REPORTER: It seems I was mistaken. The Opposite virus can be cured by simply drinking 4 glasses of pumpkin juice. So needles aren't necessary. Let me reapete: needles ARE NOT NECESSARY. My bad. This has been your reporter, signing off.

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

_(All: log off to go find reporter and murder her. Note: The reporter of the TV)_


	10. FINDMyIdentity Part 1

**Dear reviewers,**

**Thank you for all so patiently waiting for my update. I understand its been very long and I was horrible to you guys to take so long. But I hadn't any ideas to put so I'm sorry. I'' update the next in a few days I SWEAR!!**

**Love,**

**Sorrel P.**

* * *

MysterChatter4-ever: AAAAAND here we are folks! Welcome to the game of "FIND-MY-IDENTITY"!!!!! Where people _always_ log out having someone's secret identity known, or, um--unknown! Allow me to explain the game, folks! There are, in all, 6 contestants who are, as we speak, logging on. 

Their job is to answer the questions I, your host, Mystery Chatter, throw at them (10 questions in all). If they get 6 correct, they will leave knowing my identity. If they don't, hahaha, well, then the only chance they'd ever get of knowing my identity is gone. But no pressure! You also get prizes if you answer something right. On with the game, let's see our contestants!

_(I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged on. Shaman King has logged on. Vicious Blonde has logged on. Ainu pig has logged on. Flames of Evil has logged on. And finally…)_

_**(Hana-the-kyootiepye has logged on)**_

Shaman King: Hana! What are you doing here???!!!!

Hana-the-kyootiepye: Mommy gave me permission to play, Daddy!

Shaman King: (turns to Anna) did you tell him he could play on a game show, Anna?! Its too hard for him!

Vicious Blonde: (glares a cold and deadly glare at her husband with eyes full of flames) Are you implying, Yoh Asakura, that our son isn't smart?!  
Shaman King: NO!!! I just think that—

Vicious Blonde: But of course _you_ wouldn't understand. After all, Hana got his smarts from me.

Shaman King: Excuse m—

Vicious Blonde: Don't you ever even _**think**_ of implying that our son isn't smart enough to be on a game show ever again. Or so help me I will strip you naked and then tie you by your hair to the end of a flagpole!!!

Shaman King: (frightened) Y-yes dear… (gloom)

Vicious Blonde: Well, then, on with the show!

MysteryChatter4-ever: Well then, now that we're all here, let's begin.

(Drum roll….)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, question one for Mr. HoroHoro.

Ainu pig: Oh yeah, man, bring it ON!!!

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, here goes: Please spell your full name on a blank sheet of paper.

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: THAT'S IT???!!! YOU ASKED HIM TO WRITE HIS FREAKIN' NAME????!!! WHAT THE H—

Ainu pig: Done! (hands in sheet)

(Drum roll…)

MysterChatter4-ever: That is—incorrect!

Ainu pig: Whaddaya mean 'incorrect'??!!

MysterChatter4-ever: I mean 'false', 'inaccurate', just plan WRONG.

Ainu pig: Dude, I'm not so dumb that I don't know how to spell my own NAME!!

(Hands back paper. Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Ainu pig: Oh darn, Horohoro's with FOUR o's…

(Everyone: _sigh…_)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, next question goes to….Mr. Hao A.

Flames of Evil: Oh yeah, I'm cool…

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, here comes the question… (Drum roll)…If you were to meet a human seen littering and dirtying the earth with his dirtyness, what would you do? A- Burn him. B-point out what he's doing wrong and explain to him that this world will come to an end if littering continues, or C-give him a smack on the head. One of these answers is right, please choose.

Flames of Evil:(after much thought) I'd smack him on the head….

(Everyone: surprised he didn't choose 'burn')

MysteryChatter4-ever: That is…CORRECT!!!!

(Cheers and applause)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, Mr. Hao, you win… (Checks card)…a lifetime supply of whale blubber!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Flames of Evil: (bored and annoyed) Oh—happy day.

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, Mr. Tao, your next! The question is: (drum roll) At what dynasty did Bason live?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: (silent.) I, uh—never asked…(nervous)

MysteryChatter4-ever: For shame, Ren, for shame. Males are so daft…you've lived with your guardian ghost for years and years and yet you're still clueless to when he lived. Tsk, tsk…If _**I**_ ever had a shaman he'd certainly not forget when I lived…So therefore, your answer is incorrect, leaving you now with 2 incorrect answers and only 1 correct answer. The next question goes to—Anna Asakura!

Vicious Blonde: Throw anything at me; I'm so smart I don't know what to do with myself…… (Sighs)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay: (drum roll) Name 3 mistakes you've made in your life!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Poor Anna, that's a tough one for HER….

Ainu pig: yeah, she can't _ever_ blame _anything_ on herself…

Hana-the-kyootiepye: You can do it, Mommy!

Vicious Blonde:…..Fine. Okay, first flaw: I—broke Yoh's fingers and fractured his skull in front of Hana…

Shaman King: (mutters) it still hurts…

Vicious Blonde: Number Two: I—sniff—I—STOLE FROM MY MOTHER'S PURSE WHEN I WAS EIGHT!!!

(Everyone: _**NO WAY!!!!**_)  
Vicious Blonde: And three: That time I made Yoh my own personal chili dog….

Shaman King: (shudders) I—couldn't get out of the bathroom—for weeks…

MysteryChatter4-ever: CONGRATULATIONS ANNA! You've answered my question and scored your team another correct point! You win your own personal training arena!

Flames of Evil: That beats whale blubber by a long shot!!! (Screams in anger)

Shaman King: Great…more training…

MysteryChatter4-ever: Well, folks, we'll be back after these messages. But first, let's do the math! They got 2 answers right and 2 wrong. They need to get 4 more right if they want to know my identity. There are 10 questions in all, so if they get 2 more wrong they'll leave never knowing my identity. So we'll return after these messages.


	11. FINDmyidentity Part 2

**Dear reviewers,**

**Okay, so maybe it DID take a little longer than a few days. (awaits tomatoes to be thrown at her).**

**Okay, guys, here's the chappie. If you guys still don't know who the Mystery Chatter is by the end, PM me and I'll tell you. But I think its pretty obvious. **

**And another thing: I want you to forget about this fanfic. I am not abandoning it, I simply ran out of ideas to post. So, please, put it on story alert or something then just forget about it until I update. It could take months, I think its writersblock. **

**Thanx to all you guys.**

**Sorrel P.**

**PS: I'd like 5 reviews before I continue...**

* * *

MysteryChatter4-ever: Welcome back folks, to "FIND-MY-IDENTITY"!!!!! Now, since everyone pretty much knows the game, let's continue without further due. Okay, next question goes to…Hana Asakura! 

Hana-the-kyootiepye: Yay!!!

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, Hana, here goes! I'll give you an easy one. What is the square root of 9 multiplied by twelve to the 2?

Shaman King: Good God, man, he isn't even in 3rd grade yet!

Vicious Blonde: (glaring) Do I hear you re-implying, Yoh Asakura, that our son isn't smar—

Shaman King: (quickly) No no no! Of course he can do it! G-go, Hana!

Hana-the-kyootiepye: First of all, Daddy, the Mystery Chatter's a girl, not a man. Second of all, the answer is 1296!!!!

MysteryChatter4-ever: That is…correct!

(Cheers and applause)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, Hana, you win… (Drum roll)…a free ticket to the latest PG thirteen movie!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Vicious Blonde: Are you crazy, woman?! He can't go to a PG13 movie; he's like _6 years old_!!!

Shaman King: (grinning) Are you implying, dearest Anna, that our son is to young to—

Vicious Blonde: (deadly) don't start with me, Yoh Asakura…if you value your life.

Shaman King: Y-yes dear… (Gulps)

Flames of Evil: Morons….

MysterChatter4-ever: Ooookay! Well, with that, let's move on! Okay, ladies and gentlemen and spirits of all ages. We've asked Horo, Ren, Anna, Hana, Hao, and now the only one who's left is…Yoh Asakura! Now folks, let's remember: Because of Hana's genius, he won the team their third correct answer. They need to get three more right to know my identity! Okay, Yoh, are you ready???!!!

Shaman King: W-well, I guess so…

MysteryChatter4-ever: Who cares?! You don't have a choice anyway! (cue evil laughter) You know what I like? That since nobody knows my identity, I can be nasty and mean! I'm normally so sweet and quiet but hey, I don't care!! No one knows who the heck I am! Okay Yoh, here's the question: Where you, in fact, forced to marry Anna? Or was it true love? If its true love, explain by stating three things you love about her!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Vicious Blonde: (Glare)

Shaman King: It was true love! (Que lazy grin and annoying giggle)

MysterChatter4-ever and audience: Awwww…that's totally sweet!

MysteryChatter4-ever: Explain!

Shaman King: Well, the first great thing about Anna is that she's really a sweet, loving, caring...

Vicious Blonde: Don't push it, **honey**… (Growl)

Shaman King: (nervous laugh) Heh heh, right…well, anyway, second is that she's a really good cook once she has some lessons…

Vicious Blonde: (content)

Shaman King: A third, she'd, uh…a great Mom!

Vicious Blonde: (fights to hide her blush)

Hana-the-kyootiepye: Its true, Mommy! Whenever you wanna kiss Daddy, you tell me to leave the room and not come out for about two whole hours!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

All (except Anna and Yoh): Snicker… (Evil grins)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Well, folks, that kid's gotta a lot of guts to say that on internet!

Hana-the-kyootiepye: (Doesn't understand what he did wrong) O.O

MysteryChatter4-ever: Well, anywho, let's move on. Since Yoh answered his question correctly, he just won the team the fourth correct answer! Plus he also won… (drum roll)…A bunch of mashed potatoes with gravy thrown right on his head!

Shaman King: W-what? (Que gravy and mashed potatoes)

(Yoh is very annoyed, folks)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Okay, folks! Since all 6 contestants answered their questions, and they still have to get two more right to know my identity, now, they can all decide between each other which one person will answer the last two! Okay, Team, we're waiting…

(Whispers. Grunts. Mutters.)

Shaman King: (clears throat) Uh, I pick…

Hana-the-kyootiepye: I'LL GO, DADDY!

Shaman King: N-nani?!

Vicious Blonde: Didn't you hear him Yoh? (clenches teeth) Our son is going to do the last two questions.

Shaman King: Y-yes, Ana. (gloom)

MysteryChatter4-ever: Oh, isn't that cute! Adorable little Hana is going to answer the last two questions! Okay, sweetie, here's the first one: Which girl does a certain Chinese boy in the room like?

Hana-the-kyootiepye: THAT'S AN EASY ONE! UNCLE REN IS IN LOVE WITH AUNTIE PIRIKA!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: THAT IS POSITIVELY ABSURD! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH THAT BLUE-HAIRED IDIOT'S SISTER!

Ainu pig: Yeah, Hana, he's not in love with my sister! IF HE WAS I'D KNOCK HIM DEAD RIGHT NOW! ARE YA, REN, ARE YA?!  
(Ren is experiencing the first time in his life that he's actually afraid of Horohoro.)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: I am NOT in love with Pirika…(blushes)

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Mysteryhatter4-ever: OH, HE _**SO**_ WANTS HER, FOLKS! (Cheers and applause) Hana wins a stuffed chibi plushie that's worth 5 dollars!

Hana-the-kyootiepye: YAY! (hugs plushie)

Mystery-Chatter4-ever: Okay, folks, Hana gets to answer the last one! If he gets it right, he'll now my identity, so let's hope he makes it! Okay, Hana, here goes: What is…my name?

All: N-NANI??!!!

Hana-the-kyootiepye: That's the easiest question of all! You're name is—

Vicious Blonde: Stop! (glares) Hana Asakura, have you known the secret identity of the Mystery Chatter all this time?!

Hana-the-kyootiepye: Well Mom, when you put the pieces together, it really made sense. I'll give you hints: She's a girl…

All: Yeah…

Hana-the-kyootiepye: She was wings…

All: Uh huh…

Hana-the-kyootiepye: She can't talk, and she wears a PINK DRESS!

All: NO WAY, IT CAN'T BE! (Turn to Mystery Chatter) You're—!

**END OF PART TWO**


	12. Of Mice and Men

**(sulks) I'm sure 'sorry' won't be enough for you guys to forgive me. I took too long, I really did. I know that, and, I deeply apologize. The thing is that really, I've run out of ideas. Its odd, but I can't think of anything funny enough to post. I don't know why. I need you guys to help. I need ideas, and ASAP. Because I'd hate to keep you guys waiting for so long again. Not only would that be evil, but that would be very rude of me, too. And if it turns out that I can't find anything good enough to post, I'll just mark my story as 'Complete' and that would be that, but, of course, I'd give you all a notice beforehand. **

**BTW, I recently started chatting myself.:) funny, ne? lol :D**

_(Vicious Blonde has logged on. HeadphonesBoy has logged on. AinuGirl has logged on. I/play/with/Kwan Dao's has logged on. The Joker123 has logged on)_

HeadphonesBoy: Hey, Chocolove! (cue lazy grin)

TheJoker123: Hey, Yoh! What's goin' oooon?

AinuGirl: Hey guys! Nice username, Yoh. :)

HeadphonesBoy: Thanks. You too, Pirika.

TheJoker123: Hey! You guys wanna hear my new jokes?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Why on Earth would we want to hear your pathetic excuses of—

TheJoker123: Great! Here goes…

Vicious Blonde: Listen up, Joker Boy. The last time you told jokes was at our house, remember? Hana was under your horrible influence and didn't stop repeating those jokes for a week! (dark aura) Now you will pay….

TheJoker123: (gulp) H-how're you gonna do that? (suddenly confident) You can't touch me online!

Vicious Blonde: Why you little—

TheJoker123: Okay, here I go!

HeadphonesBoy: W-wait, Chocolove—

TheJoker123: Okay, so, some guy goes up to this other guy and bites him on the shoulder. And you know what the other guy says?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Stop—

TheJoker123: He says: "Ow, my _**teeth**_! AHAHAHAHAAAAA!! Funny, right?!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

AinuGirl: AAHAHAHAHAAAA! I get it! That's so funny!

(Pirika is the only ones who is laughing)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: No, Pirika—don't encourage him!

TheJoker123: Finally! Someone likes my jokes! I knew I had the right material ready!

Vicious Blonde: FYI, baka, Pirika laughs at anything!

AinuGirl: I do not!

Vicious Blonde: Yes you do. Look: Pirika, monkey butt!

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

AinuGirl: AHAHAHAAAAA! YOU SAID MONKEY BUTT! STOP, ITS KILLING ME!!

Vicious Blonde: See?

AinuGirl: ANOTHER JOKE, CHOCOLOVE, ANOTHER JOKE!

HeadphonesBoy: You're not serious, are you?

TheJoker123: (joyful) Alright! Okay, so this one guy was so stupid, he thought the equator was an actual line!

Ainu Girl: AHAHAHAHA, MORE, MORE!

TheJoker123: (happy) Okay, so there's this dude, and he puts his arm over this other dude. The other dude says: "You, remove your arm." And you know what he says?

AinuGirl: (b4 anyone can stop her) What?!

TheJoker: He says: "I can't, ITS ATTACHED TO ME SHOULDER!"

AinuGirl: MWAAHAHAHAHAHAA!! (Teary-eyed) Another!

Vicious Blonde: (angered) That's it! I've had it!

_(TheJoker123 has logged off to go hide. HeadphonesBoy has logged off to go help him before Anna beats the crap out of his—)_

_(_Clears throat…..ANYWAY….)

_(AinuGirl has logged off to tell Horo the jokes)_

_(Flames of Evil has logged on)_

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Hello Hao…

Vicious Blonde: Go away.

Flames of Evil: Nice to virtually see you too, Anna. (Grumbles. Stops.) Yoh's not here, is he?

Vicious Blonde: You just missed him.

Flames of Evil: Good. I have something I must ask you (brushes hair and checks teeth). Uh….what do you LIKE in Yoh, Anna?

Vicious Blonde: (eyes narrowed) You SO want me, don't you?

Flames of Evil: (snorting) Don't flatter yourself, Anna.

Vicious Blonde: Meaning what?!

Flames of Evil: Anyway…(clearing throat). I mean, what does Yoh have that I don't have? We're twins, so we have the same looks. I'm ten times stronger than—

Vicious Blonde: (dark aura)

Flames of Evil: Eh-heh….well, I'm also highly intelligent and….(rambles on)

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Did you just call yourself….highly intelligent?

Flames of Evil: Yeah.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Oh.

Flames of Evil: Why?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Nothing…

Flames of Evil: Tell me.

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Well, the term 'highly intelligent' is used a lot on TV to describe…

Vicious Blonde: Oh, right!

Flames of Evil: What?!

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: …_Rats_, Hao.

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Flames of Evil: (snort) Since when?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Always.

Flames of Evil: (thinking) No you don't! 'Highly intelligent'? That's also used for people…

Vicious Blonde: No. It's used to describe rats.

Flames of Evil: No its not! Rats?!

Vicious Blonde: Rats.

Flames of Evil:..._RATS_?

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Rats.

Flames of Evil: Oh…_Rats_?

Vicious Blonde and I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Yes, rats.

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

Vicious Blonde: I'm going to go now. _(Vicious Blonde has logged off)_

I/play/with/Kwan Dao's: Yeah, me too. (logs off)

(Silence. More silence. Even more silence.)

(crickets chirp. Dogs bark in the background)

Flames of Evil:…_Rats_?

Short chapter, I know. :P Sorry.


End file.
